29/07/06 Mini trip report

We came back from Wales yesterday, not due to disaster this time, but because we'd run out of mountains to climb! The trip was an amazing success and we managed to climb Pen yr Ole Wen, Carnedd Dafydd, Carnedd Llewellyn, Yr Elen, Glyder Fach (twice!), Glyder Fawr, and Tryfan.

We also climbed some of the best scrambles in the area including Tryfan's North Ridge--my third ascent of this route--and South Ridge, Glyder Fach's Bristly Ridge (we missed Sinister Gully and went up another interesting gully instead), and Glyder Fach's Main Gully. The line we took on the latter actually stuck to the route of the Chasm Face climb for most of the way up the mountain's enormous north face. The chockstone pitch was troublesome and featured a technical little overhang which required some ingenuity to overcome.

All in all, we had a fantastic time and notched up our experience by a considerable amount. I have now completed my 47th mountain ascent (including repeats) and feel I know the Glyderau pretty well. I have also explored the majority of the Carneddau and enjoyed my first ever mountain bivouac. James has also become a committed bivvyist. Seeing the sun set and rise from 3,200 feet, and alpenglow shining on the tremendous ring of mountains all around, is something very special.

Anyway here is a selection of pictures. On Monday I'm heading off to Norwich, so will be largely offline until we get internet in the new house (which may not be for a week or two). However in between studying for my resits and getting everything sorted out, I will be working on the full trip report and my increasingly large backlog of other updates, so expect a great many exciting things soon after our internet connection is turned on!

Base camp at Gwern Gôf Uchaf	The North Face of Glyder Fach looms above Cwm Bochlwyd
Alpenglow on the summit of Pen yr Ole Wen	A sight only the bivvyist, or the MR statistic, gets to see!
James is all smiles after waking up with a front-row view of the Glyders	Trekking along the ridge towards Carnedd Dafydd
Scrambling on the Upper Cliff, Glyder Fach North Face	Hill fog over Glyder Fach
Me striking a nonchalent pose on the Cannon Stone	Grade 2 terrain on Tryfan's North Wall (James)
Me climbing above the Notch, Tryfan	James topping out on the Pinnacles section of Bristly Ridge, Glyder Fach
Me displaying reckless craziness once again: the Fear has been banished!!

Posted by Alex at 12:05 PM

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23/07/06 Where I've gone, and when I'll be back

Early tomorrow morning my brother and I begin the tedious journey by car, train and bus to an isolated farm in the Ogwen Valley: Gwern Gôf Uchaf, finest base camp for mountaineering in North Wales. If all goes well we should arrive at Uchaf at 5:30pm, eight hours after we board the train at Thetford.

The idea is then to pitch tents, pay our fee, have dinner, and climb the 978m/3,210' mountain of Pen yr Ole Wen, the classic 'springboard' peak into the Carneddau mountain range. The vast Carneddau plateau is largely unexplored for James and I, having concentrated most of our efforts in the more vertical Glyderau just across the valley. However these mountains are enormous: Carnedd Llewellyn, the centerpiece of the range, stands at a staggering 1,064m/3,491'. That's 86m higher than anything in England and only 19m lower than Snowdon itself. This will only be the second time I have been anywhere near this high.

We intend to climb all of the best of the Carneddau: Carnedd Dafydd, Carnedd Llewellyn, the satellite peak of Yr Elen, and a sub-3,000' outlier called Pen yr Helgi Du. This long ridge walk will be attempted the morning after we bivouac on the summit of Pen yr Ole Wen.

On the second full day we shall have a shot at the classic Bochlwyd Horseshoe. This is one of my all-time favourite mountaineering routes, incorporating Tryfan North and South Ridges, Bristly Ridge, and the Gribin, all Grade 1 scrambles. The 3,000'+ summits of Tryfan and Glyder Fach will be visited.

The next day we plan to go a little easier, climbing Glyder Fach via the Grade 1 scramble of Main Gully, which ascends the imposing north face of the mountain. We shall probably finish not long after midday. The idea for the afternoon is to head up into Cwm Tryfan with rope and rack and do a bit of cragging.

One possibility for our final day in Ogwen is to climb the North Face of Glyder Fawr via one of its long Grade 2 rock routes, either the North-West Face Route or the Idwal Staircase. This is very much dependant on weather conditions and how confident we are feeling with the necessary mountaineering techniques (which we will have been practicing every evening at the crag just above the campsite). If we complete this route it will be the jewel in the crown; even if we attempt it and are forced to retreat, it will still be an achievement.

If we decide against taking on "der Nordwand", we'll probably head up Y Garn and maybe aim to polish off Elidir Fawr as well. If we do this, it'll mean I shall have climbed the majority of the Welsh 3,000ers, with the exception of Foel-Grach, Garnedd Uchaf, Foel Fras, Garnedd Ugain, and Crib Goch.

In any case, it's an exciting line-up and despite forecasts of a further heatwave I'm feeling very optimistic! I shall post again with photos on Sunday when we get back. The day after that I am moving back to Norwich so will not be able to update until we get internet installed. I'll set up a page that I can update from the library computers whenever I get the chance.

Please wish me clean rock and a steady head! See you in a week.

Why fly off to the Alps when you've got all this right here in the UK?

Posted by Alex at 10:30 PM

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22/07/06 The Penultimate Post

Bit of an odd day today. Did a bit of packing: my bags are now packed for the trip, and boy are they heavy! The biggest weight is the climbing hardware, of course. 115 feet of rope plus harness, helmet and rack of miscellanious ironmongery tends to weigh a fair bit, despite my efforts to keep the rack at a minimum. Ended up packing a set of 9 assorted nuts, of sizes 3 to 8 (doubling up on sizes 3, 5 and 7). Should be sufficient for the crack-rich Welsh rock.

When choosing reading material I veered away from my Joe Simpson books. That guy has had a lot of accidents in the mountains and I strongly believe that reading Touching the Void before my last trip influenced the chain of events that led to me falling off that cliff. I guess I was in a rather superstitious frame of mind altogether last time I was in the mountains, but this tradition has stuck fast: Joe Simpson's books are amazing, but it's bad luck to read them before or during a trip.

For food, we're going for a delightful mixture of dry muesli and shortbread for breakfast, maltloaf and tracker bars during the day, and the usual dehydrated mystery meals for dinner. It's pretty bland stuff but I'm well used to this diet by now. Note that I've cut out the porridge this time around. I may be famous for the quality of my porridge (or lack thereof!) but it means you have to take things such as saucepans and tin plates. Much better to stick with food that requires hot water added to the bag at a maximum. This time I can get away with the Mighty Mug for heating water, and no plate. Huzzah! That's a 200g weight saving!

Despite threatening weather I went tree-climbing this afternoon. Climbed the Bug Bowl again by two different routes, namely Ordinary (despite the fact that the bark is getting a bit eroded by now--I'll have to up the technical grade before long) and the Alternative Start. Was amazed and disgusted at the amount of spiders and bird droppings that seem to have appeared in the top of that tree since I last climbed it. Also FINALLY found a way of climbing that evil overhang on the Mallorn Tree. It's a committing move but it gets you over the overhang and onto the third pitch ... which I'm now stuck on due to another exposed overhang. It's a bloody hard tree and if it could be given a rock grading it would be Hard V Diff at the very minimum.

Will make a final post tomorrow to give details of my routes. After that there will be a maximum of two posts before a longish period of silence. We're moving into the new house in Norwich Monday after next and won't have internet for at least a week, therefore no server access. I may set up a 'blogger'-style blog as a temporary measure during that period, which I can update from the university library. Obviously this also means that neither Frankie nor myself will have access to the piratesoc server for this time either.

Final thought for today: Aaarg! my watch has been partly melted by the insect repellant I was using earlier. I guess it's true that DEET-50 can dissolve plastic materials after all, then!

Posted by Alex at 10:30 PM

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21/07/06 Hot!

Yet another scorching, dry day, with the temperature touching 30 degrees once again. This entire area is rapidly turning into a desert. The soil is little more than sand and dust, all grass everywhere has turned a parched shade of yellow-brown, and even the birch trees are starting to suffer. Uncannily, some of the trees are starting to look a bit autumnal. Their leaves are turning golden due to lack of water.

Other than buying our train tickets, all preparations have now been made for the Ogwen trip. My greatest concern at this stage is the heat. Firstly I'm certain they'll have speed restrictions in place on the rail lines again, which means we might miss our connection at Llandudno Junction. And that means we'll miss the last bus into the valley from Betws. Secondly, if it's this hot at sea level, what's it going to be like above 3,000 feet? I predict I'll be coming back with my face peeling off, like last year, only worse.

Concerns about lethal radiation levels aside, I think this is going to be a pretty epic trip. We have the chance of climbing most of the Carneddau--or at least all the good ones--and repeating ascents of Tryfan and the main Glyders. It won't be winter mountaineering, of course, but this is the best you can get at this time of year!

Posted by Alex at 1:30 PM

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20/07/06 IT'S ON!

The rail strikes have been suspended, which means that the trip is on! We're currently getting our supplies in order and working out what to pack. What with all the climbing gear we're taking this time, our bags are going to be stuffed and very heavy. Consequently I'm keeping a close eye out for things I can do without and leave behind.

The forecast is for slightly cooler weather, with maybe a little cloud and rain. Therefore my idea of bivvying the whole thing has been vetoed, since I should imagine bivvying in wet weather isn't too fun. We're still planning to bivvy for a single night on the Carneddau plateau, though, in order to attempt a complete traverse of that mountain range. Mountain wild camping is an entirely new experience for both of us and I'm greatly looking forward to it.

I'm also looking forward to doing the Bochwlyd Horseshoe again. Tryfan is one of my favourite mountains, and I also have personal demons to confront in Sinister Gully on Bristly Ridge. For me, this trip is as much about rediscovering my fearless side, that bold and crazy part of me that I lost back in June, than it is about having fun. I don't intend to put myself in any disproportionate danger, but I do intend to climb some serious routes and push myself (gently!) to find out where my new limits are. This is why I'm so keen on climbing the North Face of Glyder Fawr. It's not just another route to tick off my personal list: it's a challenge, a technically demanding route that will require all of my skills and experience to complete successfully. I believe we are capable of doing it, but I also believe it will not be easy.

I won't deny that the prospect of such a climb is intimidating. But, in a way, that's exactly the point. Before the June trip I wouldn't have found the idea intimidating at all. I want to get back that way of thinking.

On a totally different topic, I'm currently in the process of drawing an 'authentic' East India Company map of the Isle of Tortuga, for the pirate society. Hopefully it'll feature on our stall at socmart and add just that little bit of atmosphere. We already have the gigantic Jolly Roger flag, the piratey music, costumes, and various bits and bobs such as bottles of rum and compasses, but it won't be complete without a treasure map! The thing is preposterous, of course ... I've included carefully written bits and pieces such as "Here be Shipwrecks" and "This Cove be used by Bucaneers for Trading plunder'd Ityms". I even drew in the Black Pearl and wrote "These Waters be the Haunt of Capt. Jack Sparrow and the Black Pearle". It isn't finished yet, but when it's done it'll look gorgeous. I'd forgotten how much fun drawing maps could be.

Posted by Alex at 11:40 AM

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18/07/06 Back from Naaaar'ch

Got the train up to Norwich this morning to fetch my key, or as it turned out, my keys--one for the front door and one for the back. Also got the documentation for the house. Everything is now 100% sorted (except the net connection) and waiting for us to move in! The moving-in date is July the 31st, Monday after next, which is only a few days after Frankie and I get back from our holidays.

I spent a couple of hours wandering around town, picking up bits and bobs that I needed. Got myself a pair of speakers for my laptop (sound quality is questionable, but at £3.99 I'm not complaining), a locking cable for said laptop, fuel for the camping stove, TX Direct Nikwax for washing the waterproof coats, and a windproof top for my brother. The only thing I didn't manage to find was a 25K Snowdonia map. Borders had run out.

Just being in Norwich again was fun and after I finished shopping I wandered over to the Riverside, intending to have a drink and relax in the Old Orleans before catching my train back. However, the cinema just across the square caught my eye. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was showing, and the next screening was in only five minutes! In a move that may surprise some people I know (lol!), I turned down the promise of alcohol and went to watch the film instead.

It's a damned good movie, pretty much equal to the first. It's hilarious in places and the Jack Sparrow character is so outrageous and likeable in a strange kind of way that I was laughing the whole way through. It contains timeless quotes building on the original film, notably involving rum (eg. "It's Elizabeth--hide the rum!" or "Why is the rum always gone?"). The plot was just as engaging as the original. Orlando Bloom's mediocre acting was more than made up for by just about everything else in the film.

Once it comes out on DVD I reckon we should do a movie night for piratesoc, maybe borrow a projector and book one of the lecture theatres. Should go down well!

The journey back from Norwich was tedious, due to trains being delayed on account of the heat. Changed at Ipswich instead of Lowestoft, thus avoiding the Danger Train. However there was a high chav presence in Ipswich station including a couple of kids trying to sell illegal substances on the platform (eg. "Oi mate, want to do some ... business?" *followed by exaggerated wink*).

Possible train strikes next week may be problematic as far as the Ogwen trip goes. Might have to reschedule for August, even though I want to keep that month free for studying. Will keep you folk appraised.

Posted by Alex at 8:30 PM

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17/07/06 Sun is shinin' in the sky / there's not a cloud in sight!

It is unbelievably hot today. I was woken at about 6:30AM by the heat, which was making sleeping in my bivvy bag uncomfortable; the previous night I'd selected a pitch on the hill above Snape Warren, as part of my continuing search for classic bivvying sites along the Suffolk coast. It was actually pretty chilly--sufficiently so for me to wear a lightweight fleece--by the time I turned in, at about 11:30 the previous evening. Mist was rising off the marshes in eerie layers, trapping pockets of surprisingly cold air beneath (about six degrees above freezing, by my reckoning). Looking down on the misty river once the moon had risen was quite something.

But the sun warmed everything up very quickly. It was quite a race getting back to Sudbourne (six miles to the south) before the full heat of the day hit me ... and since I didn't have my hat or sunglasses with me, I was very keen to do so! Temperature is currently just pushing over 30 Celsius. And it's set to increase over the next couple of days. The big piece of good news is that the weather is predicted to cool down again just before the Ogwen trip.

Our dehydrated rations for the trip came this morning; the usual familiar assortment of Pasta Carbonara, Beef Strogonoff, and Pasta with Cheese. Going to experiment with maltloaf for day rations this time round. My Ortlieb drybag also came, which will be just the thing for sticking my backpack and boots in while bivvying to stop them getting soaked from dew. Should be quite an improvement on my current setup. There's only so much you can do with a ten year old orange poly bag with holes in.

I was also recklessly tempted into ordering myself a Wee Airic (3/4 length self-inflating sleeping mat) from the boys at Alpkit.com. It's only £15, which is a pittance for something so versatile and useful, and I'm far happier supporting a company like Alpkit--run by enthusiasts like myself--than I would buying from the big companies who just want to make as much money as possible. Besides, Alkit's customer service is legendary!

Getting the Danger Train back into Norwich tomorrow for a few hours to pick up my key and get a few bits and bobs in town. Only TWO WEEKS now before we move in!!

Posted by Alex at 1:20 PM

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16/07/06 New Disclaimer added--plus rant

Perhaps I'm being a little paranoid, but I've decided to put a new disclaimer at the foot of the blog page. The reason for this is simple. Over the months, I've made a huge variety of posts on this weblog, most perfectly harmless, but every so often you'll come across a drunken post or an angry rant. Names may have been named and people insulted. The purpose of the disclaimer is to make it clear that I don't necessarily mean everything I write here, because I'm not always in a completely rational state of mind when I upload posts.

In practical terms, however, you'd be hard-pressed to find something here that I didn't really mean at the time. The fact of the matter is that I have some strong views and there are a few people I don't like much. I'm not going to apologise for this, because I shouldn't have to, but the disclaimer must be added just to cover me legally.

On a similar topic, I got into an almost-argument on the Underground this afternoon. The stupid thing is that I actually left that forum well over a month ago. It was fun in the beginning but in the latter days things fell apart badly. The reason I felt I had to post something was that a new person had mentioned piratesoc in some context or other, and Gaz had replied to the effect that he was ousted from a committee role (which is admittedly true) and that the society appeared to have 'dried up' ... which is most definitely not true. People don't realise that large sections of the piratesoc forum are invisible to non-members, and in fact the largest section of all is invisible to people who aren't in the committee.

All I did was mention that piratesoc was alive and kicking, and make a comment remarking on how quiet the Underground had become. And you know what? Gaz's response reminded me of why I had left. With no provocation whatsoever he brought up what he calls 'that mountain crap'. He is of course referring to the incident where my informed opinion on the ethics of leaving rubbish on the summits of British mountains was mercilessly flamed from all sides. This was only one example in the long line of situations where people's opinions were disrespectfully challenged, and then when they responded they were told not to take anything on the internet seriously.

The bottom line is that some people think they can get away with anything on the internet. What makes it worse is that I know these people in real life, and in person they're reasonable, likeable people. But everyone's personality becomes polarised when they use an internet forum for any length of time, and their online persona splits away, becoming a different character entirely. For example, I'm a lot less tolerant online than I am in real life. This is the fundamental problem behind all breakdowns in communication over the internet.

All this is just a roundabout way of saying that right here, today, is the point where I truly leave the Underground for good. My opinions and friends--especially my friends--appear to be incompatible with what is currently considered normal or 'cool' on those forums, so that would appear to be that.

(And this time, Grace, you won't talk me out of it! )

Posted by Alex at 6:15 PM

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15/07/06 Bloody Saturday

Finished my final day at Wyevale for the foreseeable future today, and it felt good! The day was a struggle, with the usual mixture of boredom, mad rushes, and stupid customers. However Michael was not there, which was nice, and I didn't have to do any heavy lifting. So all said it wasn't the worst possible final day!

I have dubbed it "Bloody Saturday" due to the amount of bleeding that seems to have occurred today. One customer gashed his leg open on a lawnmower (ouch!), Martin got a random nosebleed which led to his till area being redecorated with big red blotches, and on the way home my elbow suddenly started bleeding all over the place. I have no idea what caused it; couldn't even see a visible hole or cut, and I certainly couldn't feel any pain. Just blood pouring out from my elbow. Nearly two hours later it still hasn't stopped, although a heavy-duty plaster has congealed it a bit. My Wyevale shirt is covered in blood ... which is almost symbolic if you look at it in a certain way.

One big piece of good news: we sold the Scottish rail tickets, which I was originally planning to use to get to Torridon. Now that the Torridon trip is no longer possible (shame, really), I tried selling them, and eventually flogged them off for about half their original price. However we have also sold a load of ancient tents and sleeping bags which made up the other half, so it hasn't turned out too badly at all, given that GNER told us there would be no possibility of getting a refund.

I'm heading up to Norwich probably Tuesday (YAY!) to get my key for the house and to buy some bits and bobs for the Ogwen trip, eg. gas canisters, food items, a map to replace the old one which vanished, etc. In fact (FRANKIE, take note if you're reading) Bush Management left a message on my phone a few days ago, but due to signal difficulties in this area I only picked it up this morning. Apparently our fire extinguishers are due for review and they had tried to contact you or Dan but had obviously not had any luck. They wanted our permission to enter the house on Friday--I assume that meant yesterday--and perform maintenance on the extinguishers. I guess now that it's after the event it doesn't really matter, especially bearing in mind we haven't moved in yet. Oh, and they haven't replied to my email, so when I pop in on Tuesday I'll ask them about the cable connection.

Anyway! More good news. Check on the latest email quotes on the main page and you will see a link to North Cape's factory outlet, kindly emailed to me by a reader who thought I could make use of it. Bargain hunters everywhere will do well to check up on this. Daleswear are currently selling a huge range of bargains, including the North Cape Sandstorm Polo (made from Polartec PowerDry) for a gibberingly cheap £8.50. I paid £32 for mine back in early 2005. Fearful that they might be discontinuing this superb line of technical baselayers, I bought myself two. SCORE!!

Posted by Alex at 8:00 PM

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13/07/06 Revision, and some more thoughts on how I've changed

Not much is happening at the moment. I should have started my revision for the resits in earnest by now, but I hate the material with a passion and so far I've only done a little reading from the textbook. Can't motivate myself. I think it'll be easier once I move into the new house ... I'll ask Frankie to make sure I stick to my plan of studying for at least two hours per day. She's proved pretty good at monitoring my alcohol consumption, so I reckon that'll work out well.

Did some more tree climbing yesterday, and was satisfied to find that I can now climb all three pitches of the Bug Bowl without so much as pausing! That's a massive improvement on how I was only a couple of weeks back, where I would hesitate for ages at the first stance and then have to climb back down again. The secret is to know the moves and be confident that you're strong enough to do them ... the hardest move is pretty athletic and requires a fair bit of arm strength to pull it off. Climbing down it again is even harder.

I can also get as far as the tight overhang on the Mallorn Tree (a big old beech that looks like something out of the Lord of the Rings) without using any form of artificial aid. Last week I was using a tackle made of slings and karabiners just to get up onto the second pitch. Now I can do it without any slings at all! The overhang is still defeating me, although I have serious doubts as to whether that can be downclimbed (or even upclimbed), so maybe that's for the best. Unroped climbing is a very pure form of climbing, but as I know all too well, it's bloody dangerous if you get up something that can't be downclimbed.

All this has done me a tremendous amount of good. I'm now stronger than I've ever been, and for the first time in over a month, I feel comfortable performing tricky moves above a big drop. My climbing-sense took a big hit after that fall and I would find myself freezing when faced with any sort of exposure. I doubt I will ever regain the same level of fearlessness that I used to have before, but at least I'm now confident enough to face air under my feet.

And I will never again overestimate my own mental resilience. No matter how much people might say that "Fear sharpens the mind" or "You're never more alive than when you're close to death", it's just not true. Fear is part and parcel of the game, but it is an enemy. Mountaineering is not about laughing in the face of danger. It is about staying safe despite the danger.

Some people I know might say I've discovered some common sense!

Posted by Alex at 1:15 PM

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11/07/06 MEEEP!

Went to the dentists today, another annual checkup. The only difference this time was that they performed a routine x-ray of my teeth just to make sure everything was as it should be. Turns out that I have a cavity between two very closely-fitting molar teeth--and it needs filling. I no longer get NHS service from the dental practice at Aldeburgh, which means that the procedure will cost me £110! Don't these people know that students are hardly the richest people on the planet??

Am going to try to get transferred to the NHS practice in Framlingham. It's a pain really, because up until now I've never had any problems with my teeth and it's strictly been a once-a-year thing. If I get an appointment at Fram it'll cost me £42.50, which is still a depressingly high fee.

The thing I'm wondering is, how on earth do you fill in a cavity in such an inaccessible place? I have visions of them prising the teeth apart with pliers before doing the filling ... aaarg! Best not speculate along those lines I think.

Also got my hair cut, which has resulted in a definite improvement. I was starting to develop something of a Wolverine look. Now I can at least see without having to move my hair out of the way first!

On a slightly more adventurous note, I'm still hankering after doing that Sudbourne to Southwold coastal trek. Will probably have a go at it next week, taking it over two days and bivvying overnight somewhere on Dunwich heath, or maybe on the beach, then finishing up in one of the Adnams pubs in Southwold. Perfect! I have no idea how long the full route is but it has to be somewhere in the order of 30 miles. Will make a nice little primer to the rather more severe physical challenges that the Ogwen trip will present.

Am still not entirely certain of the wisdom of taking on the North Face of Glyder Fawr. I am 100% certain that we are technically capable of climbing it; however the mental challenges are extreme. It's a highly intimidating face and I can still remember very clearly how bad it feels to fall a long distance and hit rock at the bottom. We'll be roped up this time, of course, but the fear will still be there, despite all the progress I've made over the past month.

But as Sir Edmund Hillary said, it is not the mountain that we conquer, but ourselves!

Posted by Alex at 3:25 PM

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10/07/06 Progress on the trip report

Having received calls to chivvy myself up from readers, I have made a superhuman effort this morning to get some real work done on the shamefully late June trip report! You will be glad to hear that my account of the second day has now been uploaded, complete with 21 new photos and detailed information on the Grade 2 scramble of Pike Howe. I will write a proper scrambling file for this route at a later time.

Read the trip report here. This is a tale of the hardest day I have ever spent in the mountains, a real mental and physical struggle given my recent injury. I have written this as honestly as I can in the hope that others can learn from my mistakes. There were a couple of points that day when I once again came close to never making it off the hill. The Langdale Pikes in midsummer may seem an unlikely setting for an epic, but there is a fine line between adventure and suicidal stupidity and I almost crossed it.

The third day will be coming shortly. By contrast, my gentle walk up to the summit of Lingmoor Fell was entirely without danger and a highly enjoyable day, bringing out the best of fellwalking and an example of why I love the Lake District so much.

And on a similar topic, it's now only TWO WEEKS until the long-awaited Ogwen trip!

Posted by Alex at 1:15 PM

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08/07/06 All in a day's work!

Working nine hours in a garden centre is enough to drive the most level-headed person mad. And I've never pretended to be entirely level-headed, so it tends to mess me up quite considerably! The primary sensation on finishing the day is sheer exhaustion, but there's also a dull ache from my back (still not fully healed, then), the characteristic Wyevale Left Shoulder Ache (from operating the till), random beeping sounds bouncing around my skull, and a sort of general blankess. Working there destroys your soul, I swear it. After nine hours at the till everything pretty much goes in one ear and out the other.

Also, Michael is getting worse. Not only is he delusional--he seems to think he's some sort of supervisor now, even though he most definitely is not--he also makes mistakes and then blames others. For example today he left £200 worth of ice cream out in the sun for two and a half hours without telling anyone it was there. And then when he was found out, he tried to blame Martin. Steve took him upstairs for a good talking-to. Why he wasn't sacked I'll never know, but it's only a matter of time before someone starts a petition to get the guy kicked out. He's a menace and absolutely impossible to work with.

So. Turns out I'm working tomorrow as well, but it's a Sunday so only six hours. Not so bad. Plus I'll get to see some people I haven't seen in ages, which should be fun. Emily has now gone on holiday for a few weeks so I shouldn't think I'll see her again until she moves to Norwich in a few months.

Customers are still evil. The next person who says "Wot, no chip and pin yet?" will have something terrible happen to them. I can't stand repeating the same thing over and over again through clenched teeth, ie. "No sir / madam, Wyevale does not plan to install pin readers in any of our [ancient, crap and pitifully unreliable] point of sale units at this time. This is due to security concerns [and the fact that Wyevale do not plan to upgrade said crap computers. Ever]. In fact many companies have stopped using chip and pin for this very reason." I know it isn't the poor customer's fault, but I've had this conversation so many thousands of times that I'm wondering if all customers aren't just clones, programmed to speak the same few lines over and over again. Here are the only things customers EVER say:

1. "Last of the big spenders!!!" (how I hate this one. They think they're so excitingly original, too.)
2. "Got me card!! ... oh, it's the wrong day. I'll have to come back on Tuesday then." (yes, please do.)
3. "But Notcutts do these at half the price!" (oh how I want to reply with "Then **** off to Notcutts then!")
4. "I want an extra 25% off because I'm over 40."
5. "I want an extra 50% off because I'm over 60."
6. "The customer is always right; that's what they said in my day ..." (actually no, Richie and I both agree that the customer is always wrong, without any exceptions.)
7. "Wot, no chip and pin yet?" (for some reason they always phrase it in this exact way, every time.)
8. "But the sign said this was on discount! It said so, dint it Roy? Dint it?? You'll see I'm right ... oh. *sniff* Someone must of changed it."
9. "Int it busy / quiet / hot / cold today?"
10. "I could tell straight away you were a mere Saturday Staff person. Har har. I bet you dropped out of school at 16, too." (the only thing worse than a stupid customer, is an arrogant posh stupid customer, who thinks he's better than the 'mere' people who actually do honest work in their spare time. And who are currently working towards a degree.)

Rant over!

Posted by Alex at 8:38 PM

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07/07/06 Not so fun

My results came through the post yesterday. I passed one unit quite surprisingly well, passed another two adequately, and failed the final two (and most feared) units, programming and Maths. That means resits! The dates for reassessment lie between August the 21st and August the 26th, which means I will require the whole of August for studying. In fact I'm going to begin revision this evening to make sure I get an early start this time.

Those two units were brutal. The coursework killed me on programming--couldn't get the software to run, even if it was mostly structurally sound--and the exam was the killer for Maths. I believe my main problem was that I didn't spend enough effort learning the material the first time round, and tried to rely on revision too much to fill in the gaps. That didn't work as well because the subject matter was incredibly hard for me to get my head around. This time I'm going to do it properly!

Frankie went on holiday to Canada for three weeks yesterday. The internet is eerily quiet today, and due to the fact that it's been raining (no tree climbing or walking, then) I've been rather bored. Just realised that for the past couple of weeks I've been spending up to three or four hours a day chatting to her over MSN. This afternoon I've been spening most of my time sorting out transport details for the Ogwen trip ... which has been moved forward to July the 24th, by the way. I really should update the trip schedule on the main page. And finish off the June trip report.

So ... a rather depressing couple of days, all said. I predict the next two weeks will be much the same, until we head off to Wales for three days of mountaineering and high-level bivvying.

Later: Added masses of new photos in the UEA section of the photo album. Looking through my photos of the sheer craziness, drunkenness and pure honest fun that was my first year at UEA has cheered me up no end! Please take a look around.

Posted by Alex at 3:40 PM

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05/07/06 The Aschenbrenner is here!

My antique ice axe finally arrived this morning. Immediately after unpacking it, I checked the blade for the Stubai logo that would tell me approximately how old the axe was. I am very lucky! The logo is enclosed in a simple diamond, as opposed to the stylised mountain symbol, which puts the origins of this axe in the 1930s or earlier.

Apart from a layer of grime and light surface rust, the axe was in remarkably good condition for its age. The ash shaft is quite chipped at the base, and there are some hairline cracks near the head, but appears in sound condition overall and is possibly even in usable condition. Many features suggest to me that this axe has led a very full and exciting life. The adze has a sizeable chip in it (which has been subsequently sharpened, so as not to impede performance), the pick is quite worn, and about half an inch has been worn off the spike. Intriguingly, the adze is also bent slightly out of the perpendicular and there are corresponding marks to the blade on that side of the head.

At a guess, this indicates to me that the damage was sustained during a desperate attempt to arrest a fall. The climber possibly used the adze by mistake (instead of the pick) in trying to stop himself from falling, and the jarring impact distorted the metal and chipped the sharp edge. It's a shame I have no way of knowing who the axe belonged to, or any details of its history ... as it is, all I have are hints of some epic disaster, and evidence pointing towards years of hard use in the mountains.

All this adds greatly to the character of this Aschenbrenner. It's not something that has sat in a frame on someone's wall for the past 70+ years: it's a tool that has been used to climb mountains, has contributed in a positive way towards the life of its owner, and maybe helped to save that life and possibly many others since. On the other hand, that chip and bent adze might point towards a grimmer history. An awful lot of climbers died on the Eigerwand and the other great north faces of the Alps during the '30s, after all.

I've now cleaned all of the rust off the metal parts, polished them and coated them in oil, and sanded and oiled the woodwork. It's drying off in the shed at the moment, but it already looks amazing. Tomorrow morning, once the oil is dry, I'll take some more pics. Under all that dirt and grime there is a really gorgeous old ice axe. They don't make them like that any more!

Posted by Alex at 10:30 PM

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04/07/06 "Cludgen me bludgers, it's the hottest heat we've ever had! Bleargh!"

A choice quote from Major Bloodnok there to describe the current weather--absolutely scorching! I went bivvying round the coast last night because it was too hot to sleep indoors. The soft carpet of grass on the saltings made a very comfortable mattress. This time there was very little haze, and the stars blazed out of an empty sky. The sunset in the north lasted for an incredible length of time and almost merged directly into the dawn the following morning ... another fireball sunrise!

I got around the insect problem this time by blasting the midgies with expedition-grade insect repellent. They didn't bother me for long.

Have stayed indoors all day on account of the heat. It's just too warm and still to do much outside, except cower in the shade and drink water. Poor Amber still hasn't had a trim so she's feeling the worst of it, sweltering under a thick coat of white fur!

My Aschenbrenner is still conspicuous by its absence. I contacted the eBay seller and apparently, due to a complicated mix-up, it only just got posted this morning. So, touching wood etc, it should be with me by Friday at the very latest. The seller seems anxious that I don't give him negative feedback and has offered to replace the axe with another if I don't like it.

I'm probably going tree climbing this evening once the sun gets a bit lower. Want to have a bash at that tricky alternative start to the Bug Bowl, now that I've learned all the moves on the main line.

Posted by Alex at 4:25 PM

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03/07/06 *gigglesnort!*

We had a right laff this morning about the banning script. I hope people who are unlucky enough to get themselves banned have a sense of humour! Normally you'd expect some kind of formal message saying something like "You have been banned. Contact your systems administrator for more information." However we went for the piratical approach! Get yourself banned, and not only do you have to walk the plank, you are also redirected to a hilarious flash animation that someone posted on the UG a while back. And then afterwards you can reflect on how totally and utterly owned you have been.

It really is hilarious! I suspect the secret Universal Banning Script, stored on a hidden page for our private amusement, will be a source of laughs for a long time to come.

On a less happy note, my Aschenbrenner has STILL not arrived, despite assurances that it would be with me this morning. *wail* If it hasn't arrived by tomorrow I will contact the seller.

Oh yes and I'm starting to put together a vague plan for a bivvying expedition to Langdale, possibly in late August or early September. Details are fuzzy at the moment but I'm thinking about climbing Great Gable and the Scafells, then bivvying at Sprinkling Tarn. Bit of a crazy idea, but I haven't climbed Gable since May 2005 and I miss my favourite mountain!

Posted by Alex at 1:55 PM

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02/07/06 Why Ellen was banned

Frankie and I spent most of the afternoon hunting the internet for ways to ban IP addresses from websites. I finally wrote my own short script, quite simple, but difficult to break through. The reason is that Ellen (also known as t***) has been accessing the Pirate Society website almost as much as we have, reading every single post available in the public sections, scrutinising us for anything that could be taken as an insult against either her or Bil. We know this because I have access to a pageload recording system that stores an awful lot of information about your computer and which pages you've visited.

I'm sorry but this behaviour is childish. I know you read this blog too, Ellen (you were on here for almost twleve hours this morning), so I want to tell you that you won't find anything written on any site that Frankie or myself help to run that was intended in that way. As I have said countless times for nigh on six months now, I want this feud to stop. I've already stopped posting on the Underground and Frankie stopped posting months ago for this very reason (and no, she was not banned--Fitz confirmed this to me personally).

You're not a member of piratesoc, Ellen. We had nothing against you popping in occasionally, but when it gets to these obsessive levels it starts to get a little creepy. We will also not tolerate you insinuating that various threads, perfectly harmless threads, somehow had sinster undertones to them. The whole point of piratesoc is that it's silly, carefree fun ... we really have no interest in petty arguing. It got boring months ago.

I have also blocked you from posting comments on here, because to be honest none of us want anything further to do with you. I think it's best if all lines of communication are cut. That way this pointless bickering and net-stalking will come to an end.

Hopefully this will be the last thing I have to say on the matter.

Posted by Alex at 8:55 PM

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Earlier SAS-issue Gore-Tex bivvy bag, first impressions

My new bivvy bag arrived yesterday, so I decided to test it out. I walked up to the top heath and chose a pitch a little way off the path. The soft heather made a remarkably comfortable bed. Remarkably, it was another perfect bivvy experience ... the stars shone out of a clear sky and the sunrise was unbelievable. This is the most pure form of wild camping. Sleeping under the stars is pure magic and I've already become addicted.

Obviously, these conditions were far from extreme. In the future I predict I may have to rely on this piece of kit to keep me alive, say if we do any snow-holing in Scotland this coming winter. The current plan for our attempt on the Aonach Eagach (next April) involves a two-day expedition, making a high camp somewhere beneath the summit of Am Bodach, in a snow cave if there's enough of the white stuff. In such harsh conditions, the performance of the bag will be absolutely critical.

With the balmy temperatures, light breeze and zero rain of last night, the bag performed perfectly. I felt no condensation whatsoever, so it obviously breathes as it should! The bag is a good size, with a massive hood that can be drawn tight around the face to leave a simple breathing hole. This helps to protect against midges, the enemy of all wild campers, because midges can't fly into that hole when you're breathing in and out of it. If it rains, you turn the bag upside down and use the hood to shield your face. The breathability of the fabric will make sure you won't suffocate. In theory, anyway.

There's not a great deal more to it. This bivvy bag is a simple, basic design, utterly foolproof and very tough. Happily, it also folds down very small (once you've figured out the trick of getting the air out), and only weighs a little more than the ubiquitous orange poly bag ... which, incidentally, I will not be throwing out just yet, because it will make an ideal groundsheet on wet nights. Clearly I don't yet have any idea how the bag will perform in wild and wet weather, but if it's anything like my waterproof coat made of the same material, it'll do the job.

Initial verdict: A very worthwhile investment on a bomber piece of kit!

I also survived my first day back at Wyevale yesterday. Luckily the store was relatively empty and I was let out half an hour early. Am not working today, but will be back every Saturday for the next three weeks. Customers aren't quite as bad as I remember ... but there are always a few utterly stupid / arrogant / rude people who'll happily spoil your day.

I am informed that my Aschenbrenner will be arriving with the post tomorrow. Huzzah! Pics to follow.

Posted by Alex at 10:30 AM

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